shut up (kiss me, hold me tight)
by bleuboxes
Summary: In which Darcy can't keep her mouth shut, there's a mistletoe fiasco, and sobbing through the live action Cinderella makes for a great icebreaker. [wintershock high school au]


If there is one thing that you need to know about Darcy Lewis, it's that she has no brain to mouth filter, which is probably how she found herself sitting outside the Dean's office on this fine, Thursday afternoon in October. (She blames her mother for this unfortunate trait.)

It isn't her fault that Rumlow and his asshole friends wouldn't stop harassing that girl in the back of her AP Physics class. It is, however, her fault that she cursed him out during a lecture, and it's also her fault that he might possibly have a broken nose. (Because it also seems to be worth mentioning that she has no self-restraint.)

And her teacher, some old guy with a stick up his ass (and a name she doesn't even care to remember), apparently has some really fucked up moral standards – well, she does admit that punching Rumlow was treading a little below the moral high ground, but there's no reason for her teacher to ignore the nagging going on in the back of his classroom (and the poor girl who looked like she was on the verge of tears.)

Anyway – Mr. Stick-up-my-ass shoos her out of the room in a flurry of "Not in my classroom," and "Young ladies should never speak that way."

And she understands why he's pissed, she did cause a conundrum (a well-meaning one), but you know, Darcy never was (and still isn't) one to follow the rules (maybe she gets that from her mother too, huh.)

Here's where the no brain to mouth filter comes in once again.

So, she calls her teacher a sexist piece of shit in front of the whole class before swaggering out of the classroom and to where she's sitting now.

It was really quite magical, and she's beginning to wish she had a video of it to watch when she's sad (which is like three times a week, but I mean who the hell's counting anyway.) God, she can't wait to tell Jane.

The unfortunate part of this whole situation is that the Dean's office is currently occupied by another student and the man of the hour, so she's stuck sitting here on the bench like some sort of idiot. This isn't her first rodeo and the Dean is a pretty chill dude if she does say so herself, so she isn't too worried about the punishment part of it (Usually, when this sort of thing happens, which it does quite frequently, he scolds her for her misbehavior, Darcy does the Distraction tactic, and then he acts like some sort of proud parent for her sticking up for students in the face of adversity.)

And if she's being honest, Rumlow totally had it coming, plus this sort of thing has been happening since like, third grade. This sort of situation is sort of how she met Jane, too (although Jane likes to say they met in some weird science camp two years prior to the third grade playground incident; Darcy usually calls bullshit on that one. Either way, both events still had the same outcome.)

After what seems like hours (it's been like six minutes and twenty-seven seconds, she really needs to find her chill), the asshole that's been making her wait finally exits the Dean's office. And – holy fucking shit - its Bucky Barnes looking amused as hell (over what, she doesn't even want to know, but he looks glorious as ever.

Jesus Christ, he's smirking at her. She can't tell if her day just got ten times better or worse. This is when her luck runs out however, because the Dean comes out moments later looking chipper as ever, until he gets a look at her and sighs.

"Lewis, can you go at least a week without paying me a visit?"

"You know how it is, Coulson; gals to save, assholes to punch. Plus – you're like my favorite person and I need a valid reason to come visit you."

"Please tell me you didn't punch Rumlow again."

She grins (and Barnes is still here watching this whole conversation with a very amused look on his face), "No promises, dude. Some people are just asking to be punched – plus he totally had it coming this time."

Coulson sighs, "C'mon in, Lewis." He looks over at Barnes before continuing, "James, just tell Mr. Schmidt that you'll be in his – Lewis what period did you just come from?"

"Fourth, why?"

"You'll be in his fourth period physics class."

"Yes, sir." Barnes turns his pretty face around and starts making his way down the hallway (so now she gets a view of his pretty ass), and Coulson lays a hand on her shoulder.

"You know the deal by now, Darce; just because they're both assholes doesn't mean you go and pull the, what's it – the, "grand ole Lewis Charm" on them. Now I'm distracted because Barnes I know you're around that corner, dammit!. And way to stick it to the man; I bet they totally had it coming – who was it this time."

"Daisy Johnson, I think? The new girl?"

"Oh, well, you're good to go. Lead Barnes to Schmidt's, will you? He's acting like a lost puppy or something and I know very well that he knows where that class room is."

"Aye Aye, Captain."

She picks herself up of the bench and starts on her journey to Barnes and the Classroom of Hell.

"And Lewis?" blurts Coulson, she turns her head, "Maybe you should punch him again, you know, just to get the message through." She smiles and offers a thumbs up in response.

She makes her way around the corner of the hallway and she spots Barnes leaning against the wall as Coulson's door slams shut.

"C'mon, Barnes; stop acting like a cover girl and get a move on."

She doesn't wait for him, but he gets the idea and with a grunt, he follows after her. Coulson was right – he is like a lost puppy (an being very un-Barnes-y, and by that she means there's no flirting or her threatening to shove his foot so far up his ass he'll be tasting it)

Basically, it's a very straining situation for Darcy who's grown rather comfortable with just straight up talking. She's just very thankful that Mr. Schmidt's classroom is close by because she's not sure she's able to handle much more of silent and brooding Barnes.

She opens the door in a much exaggerated manner (and that grants a tiny huff of laughter from Barnes; so she's certain that at least now it's not an alien replacement or something that's been following her around the school).

She makes her way to her seat (giving her teacher a self-satisfied look because, yes, she is that petty) and she can practically hear Mr. Butt-Hurt's internal monologue (which, in case you were interested, is just screaming). She sits down with a plop. And then there's a plop next to her, becauseof course Barnes still isn't over his hot-sad puppy thing (unless he is, and just wants to make her miserable at this point) and decided to sit the fuck down next to her for the rest of the year.

Just fucking peachy.

There are, however, still seventeen minutes left of this class, so she takes more notes (not really bothering with them; she'll probably just copy Jane's) and does her best to not look at Barnes (who is looking devilishly whatever and definitely trying to aggravate her. Which he might be succeeding in if he still didn't have that soft expression in his eyes.)

The bell rings, and she's off to lunch and everything Barnes leaves her memory as she recounts the epic moments of her punching Rumlow (for the umpteenth time) to Thor, Jane, Tony and Clint.

* * *

A month passes. Barnes has lost the puppy look and is back to being his normal self. Which means that Darcy is pining as hard as ever because she has a thing for hot dudes that speak Russian and are also known as James Buchanan Barnes.

So yes, maybe it's only November of Junior year and she's already at the point of no return with her crush on this boy.

That isn't even the worst part. Somehow, Clint and Jane found out (probably because Darcy has, like, no subtlety in her body and it was really fucking obvious), which led to Thor and Natasha (Clint's girlfriend and also one of Barnes' friends, dammit) knowing, and Tony always finds out.

And Tony can't keep his mouth shut when asked directly about something so now, Barnes' best friend Steve probably knows along with Tony's girlfriend, Pepper.

If Barnes doesn't know by now he's going to soon – whether it be from her obvious mooning or from her lunch tables constant barn puns and pestering.

She's not sure what she did in her past lives to deserve this fate, but it must have been something treacherous because she's not sure there's anything worse than having Steve overhear Clint exaggerating how she wants Barnes to do some terribly kinky things to her (which she will not say because it's nobody's business but hers, and well, maybe Barnes', what she wants done to her.)

So her lunch period usually starts with her admiring Barnes' ass from afar, climaxes when her friends become fucking assholes, and ends with a terrible Star Wars reference as she picks up her stuff and exits the cafeteria to finish whatever she's doing in peace.

Her life is falling to pieces and, dammit, it's not even Thanksgiving.

* * *

Tony's having a Christmas party, and the only reason she's going is because Pepper personally invited her (actually Darcy's mother told her to get out of the house and do something) – and it has nothing to do with the fact that she knows that Steve (who she found herself becoming pretty good friends with over the last month) said the only reason he was showing up was because of her and Barnes.

She's all bundled up in her skinny jeans and (cute) ugly Christmas sweater and jacket and boots (Her mother says she looks pretty and tells her not to have too much fun without her before Darcy heads out the door of their shared apartment and walks to her car, a tiny blue Subaru that's had to see Clint vomit too many times.)

Tony doesn't live too far from her, so the drive only takes about seven minutes – and that's including the stops to pick up Thor and Jane. Darcy pulls into Tony's with Christmas tunes blasting from her stereo (and Jane and Thor and herself singing along rather horrendously). She's arrived ridiculously late because she has a policy of not arriving for anything on time (also its Tony, so he's got an even worse sense of time than she does – basically he won't care as long as she shows her face).

She touches up her lipstick before getting out of the car (dragging Thor and Jane along with her) while they continue with their beautiful rendition of Rudolf the Red-Nosed Reindeer.

Let it be known that Tony did not appreciate that, but he was happy to see her (in all her ugly-sweater-ed glory.) Steve and Sam Wilson are being cozy on the couch. Nat and Clint are arm-wrestling (and Natasha is winning despite Clint's best effort. Pepper and Barnes are talking with Sharon Carter in the corner near the Christmas tree.

She spends most of the evening with Clint (and that, naturally, involves Natasha). They hang up mistletoe at some point and she's impressed with the number of people that end up under their not-so-covert spot for it (it's literally hanging in the arch going into the kitchen from the living room).

She's been careful to avoid it for the entirety of the night (she does not want to deal with that humiliation) Although, she's fairly certain her friends are purposefully walking under it – not that she's blaming them for wanting to kiss and be all cute under the mistletoe with their significant others.

Hell, she half-wishes that Barnes would land his pretty little ass under the stupid Christmas plant.

The other half of her really hopes he doesn't because she's not sure she's ready for that. Scratch that, she's sure he'd like say something awful about her super obvious attraction to him, which everyone would laugh at and she'd melt into a puddle of embarrassment and misery and everything else.

She does not want to be mortified on Christmas.

So she plays it safe, and leaves when Jane and Thor are ready to quit (even though she's got about three hours more of eggnog and everything else Christmas still in her system). She says bye to everyone, thanks Tony and Pepper for inviting her and walks out of the living room into the kitchen.

And, you know, she's made such a conscious effort to avoid the stupid kissing plant throughout the duration of the party, and it's when she's ready to leave everything goes to shit.

And here she is stuck under the mistletoe, and she can't escape because of course - of course - Tony's there giving her the dead stare and she know she's not allowed to move until someone (read as: they get Barnes over here) comes over here to free her of her mistletoe-ly duties.

She's about ready to lunge across the room and shove the stupid plant up Tony's stupid grinning ass when someone gently places a hand on her shoulder.

Except it's not Barnes, it's Sharon, who plants a chaste little kiss straight on Darcy's lips.

"I got you, sister." The blonde winks before walking back over to wherever the hell she was before. Darcy smirks triumphantly at Tony, who's now joined by Clint (and she maybe throws in flipping them off, because those fucking assholes deserve it for trying to humiliate her like that).

She, Thor and Jane make it back to Darcy's house in a short amount of time, and they all seem to agree that it was a pretty fun night.

It's even better now that the three of them are all snuggled together on her mother's living room floor watching Elf like they used to when they were younger, and everything was uncomplicated and she wasn't worried about Barnes and just everything.

Ugh.

Jane starts snoring softly, and she forgets about all that. Everything aside, she's happy with how this evening turned out.

* * *

January, February, and March pass liut at a fairly slow pace and with tons of grace so everything is totally one hundred percent under control.

(She's not okay, and she's f

ke the weather. Barnes is still an asshole. She still likes Barnes. She still has weekly visits with Coulson thanks to Schmidt (and Barnes and Rumlow).

Basically, her life is falling apart, b

airly certain that Barnes

– the little shit – is totally aware she's pining after him and she's hiding her horror of that prospect with witty remarks and violence.)

* * *

And then April comes and there's just about two months of school left before she gets out and gets over her stupid, stupid crush on Barnes (because she's not going to see him at all over the summer unless Steve gets invited to one of Tony's functions, which isn't likely to happen seeing as the two of them sort of got into a little squabble a few months prior.)

Today, however, Barnes is being increasingly pestering because he won't stop looking at her – it usually is the other way around.

She doesn't say anything – doesn't even acknowledge him (but he probably knows that she's aware of his gaze from the pinkness of her cheeks) and this doesn't end when they exit Schmidt's room, it persists for her lunch period, as well as sixth and eighth.

On Tuesday, they share an honest-to-god conversation that involves none of the usual bitterness or anger of generally asshole-ness. It's surprising, but nice (and she secretly hopes this isn't just part of a ploy to humiliate her.)

She doubts it, he is friends with Rogers, the "All American Boy", for a reason.

The conversing continues into Wednesday, and the rest of the week, and the week that follows, and before she knows it, she and Barnes are thick as thieves – cracking jokes, sharing music (she'd never peg him for a jazz fan, but all he seems to listen too is Ella Fitzgerald and Frank Sinatra, which is mighty different than her taste in music, which varies from rap, to alt rock, to pop, to god only knows what, on any given day), roasting the hell out of Rumlow when he decides to be an ass (which is like, every day.)

And somehow, in the midst of conversation she manages to ask him if he wants to come over to her place to watch a movie with her, Thor, and Jane.

And what's even more surprising to her is that he says yes.

* * *

"Oh, Darce, Thor and I are busy this weekend."

"Jane are you sure? Like, cause not ten minutes ago you were telling me about how super pumped you were to watch the live action Cinderella with me."

"Yeah well, plans change." Jane quips. Darcy groans in frustration as she walks alongside her friend to Thor's car.

"You are the worst, Jane. Like with a Capital double-you and a trade mark symbol and everything."

"You know, most people would be like 'Thanks Jane! Totally nice of you to cancel your plans so I can hang out with this super-hot guy alonewithout friends or my mom!' you know, cause that's totally what's happening, and I was expecting gratitude and instead you looking at me like I kicked your puppy – which, might I add happened that one time because he ambushed me."

"I feel like it's making me come off as desperate? He knows I like him – don't give me that look, Janey, it's like really obvious, plus Steve was like the first to find out and him and Steve tell each other everything. They're like each other's personal journals except alive and not, um journals."

"For the love of Christ, please don't ever use that analogy again."

"Noted."

"I just," Darcy sighs, closing her eyes tightly before looking at Jane, "damn it, I really like him, okay? And I feel so stupid and ridiculous, but I don't want to blow it because I'm super lame and I don't want him to think that I did this on purpose or that I'm a whore or something – what the heckles, bro – don't laugh! This is serious!"

"Darcy –," Jane says when she's finally composed herself, "stop worrying about it. He wouldn't have said yes so quick if he didn't want to be with you. Now be gone and get ready for your Cinderella sob-fest with Barnes.

Darcy gives her a skeptical look as Jane hops in Thor's car. Thor waves, and she smiles and waves back before returning to looking at Jane.

"Trust me. You'll be fine." Jane smiles at her before closing the door. Darcy watches in silence as the car pulls out of the parking lot and stays in that place for a few seconds before going to hers.

"Fuck."

* * *

Darcy, as it was, is not fine.

She is freaking out and is just about ready to cancel on Barnes when there's a knock on the door.

" Shit shit shit shit shit shit. you got this Darce, it's just a movie with a friend. You're over thinking and totally stressed about nothing. He's also probably also going to think you aren't here if you don't answer the door – oomph!" She trips into the door handle, "Oww!"

The door opens to reveal an amused Barnes and her draped across the door in the weirdest fashion she could imagine. Step one of the evening has officially backfired; but that's to be expected. She's Darcy Lewis and the laws of ordinary men (or women, in this case) don't apply to her.

"Hi." She grins, still draped across the door like a lunatic.

"You alright there, doll?"

"Yeah, fine, this like, happens all the time. No worries." She stops speaking as he raises an eyebrow. "Shut up. Come in, will you?"

She follows him in, closing the door being them as she mentally punches herself in the face. There is no way in tarnation that she's making it through this evening alive. So screw Jane and her "it'll be fine". He's only just entered her apartment and she feels as if she's ready to fall through the floor.

She guides him to the living room, where he picks his spot on the couch while she sets up the movie. When the title credits start rolling, she grabs the bag of popcorn from the kitchen and sits down next to him on the couch (with enough room to be called platonic; she doesn't want to seem like she's throwing herself at him.)

"Any reason why we're watchin' Cinderella?"

"Other than I love making myself suffer? Yes, actually. Jane wanted to watch it, and what Jane says is law, and by the time she canceled on me, it was too late for me to pick another one – but we can change it if you want."

"No – no," he smiles at her, "This is my sister's favorite movie."

"She's got good taste." Darcy hums.

"I'm going to apologize for my ugly tears in advice. This movie wrecks me from start to finish."

Barnes laughs and she rolls her eyes.

"Laugh it up, Barnes. Just you wait till I'm using you as my tissue and you're covered in snot and tears and emotions."

"I'm countin' on it."

Darcy blushes, and the movie starts.

* * *

By the time the scene of the ball begins, Darcy's found her way in the crook of Barnes' arms, and she's only sniffling softly. She can't see his face, but she is sure that he's got a grin on it. Also, his arm is very comfy (ten out of ten, would recommend.)

* * *

The movie ends, and she's an even bigger ball of sadness and anxiety and stress than she was before Barnes showed up, because she's curled up against his side like he's her boyfriend or something and she's crying and she's fairly certain he's crying. She decides the best way to get out of this situation is to proclaim, very loudly through a shaky voice, that she has to pee.

So she does that, and when she returns, Barnes is still in the same place, but he looks content as he's typing something on his phone. (It's probably a text to Steve about how his evening is going. Which gets her thinking that Jane's probably texted her by now, but Darcy's too stressed to even bother thinking about that).

She plops down next to him on the couch and flips on Netflix.

"Sorry about you're sleeve. I kinda killed it."

"Wasn't so bad."

"Wanna watch Lilo and Stitch?" she asks avoiding wherever this conversation my go – that's another one of her super powers.

"Yeah, put it on, doll."

She doesn't mean to say it, not really, but it just sort of slips out – thanks nonexistent brain-to-mouth filter!

" keep sayin' that and a girl might get ideas"

"What was that, Darce?"

"Hmm?"

"You just said somethin' about you getting ideas?"

"Yeah! Um, ideas about how awesome this movie is gonna be!" Barnes sighs; and it's at this exact moment that Darcy knows she's screwed up so momentously bad – and she completely, totally, wholly blames Jane.

"Lewis, listen." He takes a breath, "I sort of want to kiss you right now? I've wanted to for a while – since that Christmas party at Stark's when you walked in wearing that snoopy sweater and kept trollin' everyone with Barton. And yeah, I know – I've been sort of an asshole – like scratch that, I was an asshole, but I guess that's what you get when you ask Steve Rogers for advice." He scratches the back of his head. Darcy is rendered speechless for the first time in her life.

"Is this a joke?" she asks, because it seems so not like her life or her luck that James Buchanan Barnes likes her back. "Like seriously – if you're shitting me, I'm gonna murder something."

"What do you mean?"

"Dude, it's been like, a school-wide fact that I've got a not-so-subtle thing for you; like Steve was one of the first to figure this out and I figured you were being all "bleugh" because you knew or something."

"What?" It's his turn to be confused.

"Yeah, like since that day I had to lead you to Schmidt's class when you looked all dark and broody against the wall – which is a total look for you, by the way – and then you had to sit next to me and it's just been a downward spiral into 'you've got no chance, Darcy, get out while you still can', but surprise! I haven't and now I'm more emotionally invested in you than ever because now –oomph!"

Her eyes widen in shock as Barnes (James? Bucky? She doesn't know at this point) plants his lips on hers. This kiss is nothing like Sharon's mistletoe kiss. It's gentle but also hungry and needy, but loving and she feels like such a sap but she feels like she's melting into it –

His fingers start running though her hair and her hand go to the back of his neck, and suddenly, it hits her that James Buchanan Barnes is kissing her, and she can't stop smiling.

And then she starts giggling (and is no longer mad at Jane for ditching her).

"You're an idiot, James Barnes."

"As long as I can be your idiot, doll, I ain't got a problem with that."

She twaps him on the head before kissing his cheek.

"Okay."

He kisses her again quickly (just because he can) before she snuggles into him once again to watch Lilo and Stitch.

There are no tears, because the pair of them can't seem to keep their eyes open and fall asleep just after the half way point.

(When Darcy's mother comes home, she's not surprised to see Darcy snuggling someone on the couch. She is, however, a little taken aback by the fact that Darcy's snuggling with the very same James Barnes her daughter hasn't shut up about for the last few months. She smiles, and gently tosses a throw blanket over them. She'll have plenty of time for the disappointed mom talk (even though she's not disappointed at all) and the shovel talk.

Right now, though, she's just really happy for her daughter.)

* * *

Summer comes too quickly, and her and James (and the rest of the gang, now that Steve and Tony are friends again) are ready for the tokened "Epic Summer of Awesomeness".

And that all begins with Tony (read as: Pepper) throwing another party (mistletoe included, why? Darcy doesn't know.) to kick start the week to the shore trip they've all planned.

However, this time, there's no kissing Sharon (seeing as Sharon's busy kissing Daisy Johnson in the corner) under the mistletoe (which, again, she's not affiliated with).

There is however hand-holding, and cuteness and the general happy vibe coming from her and Bucky, as they talk with Steve and Sam (and a bunch of other people that she doesn't care to name) about how she didn't realize how sappy Bucky was when he was recommending cutesy love songs to her when she was sending him early two-thousands dance hits.

And of course, when the party's over, in true Darcy Lewis style, she manages to find herself under the mistletoe (in the middle of June – what the fuck, Tony). But this time, It's Bucky that's kissing her, and she's never been happier (except for that one time she won a goldfish at the fair when she was nine, but that's beside the point.)

When they leave and she buckles herself into her boyfriend's car, she says a silent prayer to whom-ever it may be out there– thanking them for Brock Rumlow, Mistletoe, and her non-existent brain-to-mouth filter.

* * *

 **so I'm a high school au slut, and since i couldn't really find any that met my extremely high standards when it comes to fics, I made one myself (which was the least fun option for me, so you're welcome.)**

 **hopefully it isn't too terrible (this has been like two months in the making so rip)**

 **the title is from Angel Olsen's song, Shut Up Kiss Me.**

 **also this is for Lizzie, who was watching Cinderella last night and inspired me, and Taylor who sent me some gifs of Sebastian Stan which really helped motivate me.**

 **love and support (in the form of comments and favorites and follows) are the bees kne** es


End file.
